Tenderness of A Man.

Running through the river of endless thoughts, Sam found himself drowning in tears. A feeling he hasn't got used to quite yet. The scenes of his breakup swarm around him like a bunch of predators gazing at their meal. The sense of pain became mental and exceeded his physical abilities. A pain not like any other. He laid down staring at the roof of his room, wondering what it would be like to wake tomorrow; after coming to the realization that something indeed happened. That the woman that made him happy left. That the peace and love, the comfort and softness of her heart are no longer in his disposal. Realizing that the bridges he burnt for her are ... burnt. Such misery coming to a man with such a kind heart. Committing to a person who had no intention to stay. The truth is, he knew. He knew all the time that it was not meant to be. But he didn’t want to believe it. See, for a man who believes in God, it was easier for him to pray on a daily basis, hoping that his prayers will meet an answer. Putting tears in a bucket of wishes in exchange of a pleasing answer, doomed the poor Sam to an eternity of misery. Although calling it eternity might seem like an exaggeration, trust me; it isn’t. A year later, my dear man goes down the same road of pain ; putting himself in a situation to find comfort away from other worst scenarios. A continuous loop of lost faith, a heart that has been broken one too many times. Never being able to love or care for anything but nothing is what he gained out of that romance. It had come to the point where the slightest emotion he feels towards a person terrifies him. And a best friend’s love seemed like the only rope of hope to ever feel... safe. See, I feel sorry for Sam. Sleeping in the same bed next to the same woman that broke his heart only to fill the void of that slowly killing loneliness. As if having random intercourse with her will make him hold on to his humanity. As if putting himself out there felt like sitting naked in the rain: expecting to get wet but not sick yet being afraid of every drop. Sam only hears lies, and broken promises. He lost hope in every possible emotional bond. But what Sam doesn’t know is that I never loved him in the first place... _Aging.

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