Don't worry...



"Don't worry too much, that's how you'll end up getting hurt", I said without looking over at my shoulder. 

The kid stared with his bright eyes sparkling with tears, and sweaty shaking hands which couldn't handle their first abandonment. I looked over to realize my advice wasn't for him but rather for me: I realized that no matter how much we grew up we're still that kid in the playground waiting for a mommy that will never arrive. I realized that life isn't all sugar and candy like we once dreamed it would be, but rather tears and blood drips. I walked towards him and proceeded: "Worrying makes it tough, and bad things will happen regardless of how good of a person you are! Maybe you never skip classes and are saving up extra cash for the needy, maybe recycling even; but when bad news hit, the mail man wouldn't skip your door step.

Life was never meant to be the playground of Adam and Eve, but the test to their love. It was never meant to be dances in the rain, rather teachings of the circumstances for us to slow dance in the heart of the storm. 

We're the kids of abandonment, the children born from the hunger of times. We were eaten raw as kids and we never knew the taste of rest. As restless as we may be, we learned to love our bruises and the cigarettes burns on our backs. 

Look at me, kid, and remember that no matter how much you worry about her and him, they'll never stay, even if you're good; that's just how life works! No matter how long you wait for them in the rain or protect them from the heat, they'll leave! If they don't, you'll grow to realize that they left from the inside and that you've been living only with their ghost!

I would love to be the optimistic with you, kid, but I'm no such person. I'm the stoic to your fragile heart, and I'm the maturity to your warm tears on your sleepless nights. You'll never like me nor want me but.." –I looked deeply into his eyes, "but you'll be me." 

No matter how old we are, no matter how far we are, even if you don't want to become the adult that’s dead inside, abandonment and hardship will teach you to be the boring lifeless adult you'll eventually become."

I looked at him, and realized it was me all along. I gave him a hug as deep as all the oceans in the world, and then I left to let the days make him the man I am today.

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