Be a judge of character rather than charms and skills.

14 January 2021,

Character is more important when picking someone for a business venture, a relationship, or anything really. Seek to understand the patterns in which a person behaves rather than what they capitalize on because in most cases, the charm isn't more than a Facade someone is putting to hide their flaws in character.

Understanding the compulsive patterns of people around us would help us deal with them because what good is a skilled partner if his or her compulsive character always puts us at unease? Reciprocally, seek to understand your own character and compulsive patterns rather than trying to hide it or compensate with something else.

To illustrate further, some people tend to look for weaker, younger, or less experienced people. It is not done because the person isn't qualified to interact with people stronger but rather it is within his or her compulsive nature that he/she seeks to have power over others. Whether it came out from childhood trauma or they're trying to play the savior's role to inflate their sense of self, the pattern would still stand there unchanged and would often happen over and over. In retrospect, some people would try to find someone to fill a Daddy or Mommy's place and it is still a pattern derived from their character that has no regard whatsoever to their charms of skills. This might make sense from a relationship point of view simply because the connotation is more widely used and accepted, but beware, this also applies to friendships, business ventures, and pretty much all social dynamics.

This might look harmless at first, but then more compulsive behavior comes to play like narcissistic tendencies, micromanagement tendencies along with others, and that is what can turn the whole interaction to literally hell.

Compensation principle and sense of self will be developed within the next few articles.


About The Book Outgaze:

Outgaze is a book that took three years to be written, the idea at first was altered greatly as it was indeed not intended for publishing. With time however and the interest people held toward the ideas of the book, I decided to publish it.

The book is an overview of various life subjects, taking all of them onto a scientific, stoic, power-driven, and as objective as a person can get perspective.

To avoid any influences, emotional or else, the book was written under the concept of eight months of research, experimentation, observation, and note-taking, and four months of writing, working primarily on the notes taken.

The book starts by establishing some basics about many beliefs we have, such as; the conception of free will, the subconscious dilemma, the creation of our personalities, etc to then conclude with the idea that our brain is indeed different from who we are. Once this idea is established, the book moves on to where and when we can notice these patterns and how to deal with them. Backing everything up with studies in psychology, psychoanalysis, neuropsychology, behavioral and evolutionary psychology, and neuroscience.

The book is about an idea which is that "Only when we are aware of things regarding our nature that we can have a certain amount of control over ourselves" Indeed, that's something that some people grow better at doing than others, yet, because this idea isn't usually analyzed thoughtfully, we do seriously lack understanding of ourselves.

As the author, I'm a firm believer that understanding how our mind works seriously helps us become and handle ourselves better and more importantly how to deal with our impulsivity.

In the same way, understanding our bodies seriously helps us get the body we want.

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